Life

STOP LYING......to ourselves

01:26

This short article titled 12 Lies We Tell Ourselves by A. Ellis is totally worth to be read. Take your time to read and really ponder about it. 


1. I must have the love and approval of others. I must avoid disapproval of all costs.

2. I must be perfect, a success in all that I do. I must not make any mistakes.

3. People must always do the right thing. When they do not, they must be punished.

4. Things must be the way that I want them to be - otherwise life will be intolerable.

5. My happiness / (unhappiness) is a caused by external events. I have no control over my happiness / (unhappiness)

6. I must worry about things that might be dangerous, unpleasant or frightening otherwise they might happen.

7. I will be happier if I can avoid life's difficulties, unpleasantness or responsibilities.

8. I am weak and need to depend on those who are stronger than I am.

9. Events in the past have strongly influenced me - and they must continue to do so.

10. I must be upset when others have problems. I must become sad when others are unhappy.

11. I should not have to feel discomfort or pain. I must avoid then at all costs.

12. There is one right and perfect solution to any problem (usually mine). It is a tragedy when it is not found.


Oh and here's the bonus from me:





Cheerio!

character

Patience /’peɪʃ(É™)ns/

00:34

(noun)

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. (Oxford Dictionary)

The quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. (dictionary.com)

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited. (1 Corinthians 13:4)
 
    Personally, I’ve been experiencing loads of things related to patience. The biggest issue is waiting. My dad has taught me about the punctuality since I was a kid so I just can’t stomach people being late. By degrees my punctuality over all the things was starting to make me impatient. I was struggled to stomach those who always come late time after time. Consequently, I was starting to put blame to others for making me impatient. “It’s you who came late and made me upset”, “make sure you’ll be on time so I won’t be upset”, etc.

    I was starting to be impatient toward punctuality. Things were getting serious and really bothering me. Actually being punctual is a good thing. Yes it is important indeed for important things, but not everything. Rather than frustrating toward others’ unpunctuality, I chose to keep on track by being punctual instead. I would warn them once or twice, but I wouldn’t make that thing bothers me. Not everything needs a reaction.

    Second issue which makes me impatience is watching myself and others doing wrong thing. I used to let myself doing wrong things consciously and yet it didn’t work any good for me. From the day on, I chose to keep reminding (and doing) right things as much as I can. Eventually, I made myself set some kind of standard. The good thing is I can keep remind myself to behave like my standard accordingly. Incidentally, I somehow wanted people around me to behave based on the standard I set. Furthermore, I started to ask and persuade them to do right things which based on my standard and become upset when they didn’t do the right thing accordingly.

    I was like “hey that is wrong! Stop doing that”; “you do this and don’t do that!”. I was being impatient again. Then I realise that I cannot push someone to do accordingly. I’ve been doing that because it is influenced by my past, value my family taught me, and of course the value I got from Jesus Christ; but not theirs. There, I start to be chill and choose to discuss it with them instead. To make them understand about the consequences. I didn’t mean to be bossy and command them to do those things, but it’s just that I’ve known about the consequences that I don’t want them to be there.

   Next thing is quite silly and childish. I used to become impatient when I can’t get something I wanted IMMEDIATELY *bad, bad, suzan* *grin*.  Along with the list is that I was reactive even to random ppl who disturb me. There, I realised that I don’t have to sweat small stuff.  Those four things are some of the things mentioned on the Weakness section of my S.W.O.T analysis. Yet those things are the stimulants of me being impatient.
Am I 100% patient for the rest of my life? of course the answer is NO. Being patient is not as easy as blink an eye.

   I was on the phone the other day with my mom. I shared my story about a random girl who had been making trouble with me. She was surprised –and a bit upset- about how disrespectful, unreasonable and rude the girl was. 

    My mom asked me, “so how was ur reaction to the girl?”

    And I was like “I replied her respectfully even after entire things she said to me. You know me, mom, of course I was surprised and upset at the moment. Oh I was shaking as well while replying her message. I was shaking because I try to control my anger. I imagined her message as the devil that was dancing in front of me and asking me to punch him right in the face. Of course I can ‘punch’ him immediately. But then I think again… should I really respond the devil? Can’t I find a better way to respond it? I remember 1 Peter 5 : 8 (“be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”) There, I chose the right and respectful yet powerful words to respond the girl….and won the battle with my own ego.”

    And my mom was like “Wow. You really did what God asked His children to do. You’ve changed and improved. I’m proud of you.”

    See? I still have my weaknesses, but the point is I’ve been improving the way I live my life. I continuously try to improve the quality of my life. And do believe that you can do it as well. Ignore what people say about ur transformations –be more patient to be specific. You may hear ppl say “Ah you’re being angel. We know who you really are, how you behave.” Here’s the thing: There will always be obstacles when we do the transformation. Every time you’re about to give up, think twice about the consequences, believe in yourself and ask the strength from God so that you can nail the obstacle and win every battle.

 “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” –Jack Sparrow.

    Looking back at the meaning of Patience mention at the beginning, I pray that God will strengthen us –you and I– so  that we can have the right attitude to face the provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without (or less) complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. I am neither perfect nor right about everything. Just absorb the good points from my post. Remember: be willing to listen to others and be teachable. You’re not right about everything….nobody is.

“Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.” –Heractlitus.


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